Question: How much do you pay a pastor or donate to the church when he/she performs a private memorial service?

(Posted by: you_likea_the_sauce on 2010-03-06 18:51:00)

My mother recently passed away. She was on hospice, so she was able to communicate some of her wishes beforehand. One of her wishes was for a memorial service, but she stated that she did not want the memorial service at church, which was a surprise to us. She said that it was important for her to have her beliefs expressed during the memorial though. Her pastor offered to help me with the memorial service, and I know some type of donation is customary, but I'm not sure how much I should budget for. Any guidance would be helpful. The memorial will be at an gazebo in an outdoor garden near the Sacramento area, in case you had questions with geography and local custom. Thank you.

Posted by: New & Improved, I hope. on 2010-03-06, 19:03:27

From years in the wedding business, I think $100 is fairly normal, but to make sure, ask the church secretary, or the person in the church who co-ordinates the funerals and weddings. (or even ask at the mortuary). Some ministers work for this extra income, if they are not your pastor. If it is your pastor, he/ she may not require a fee but a donation to the church is proper. A donation of hymnals and/ or prayer books, etc., is appropriate for the church and would be designated " In Memorium ".

Posted by: wyomugs on 2010-03-06, 20:32:41

You will have to discuss this with the minister. If she was a member of his congregation, the fee is "discretionary, " but for non-members, I've seen fees of $400 and more. Your funeral home director can also be of service in finding this information for you if you are too shy to ask directly. So sorry to hear of your loss. Have a polite day.

Posted by: Classy Granny on 2010-03-06, 21:41:55

Sixteen years ago when my father passed away I gave my Pastor $50. I would think that today it would be $100